Narrator: When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of graciousness and ceremony, it can be memorable. And you lie there knowing you got your butt kicked by the leader of the high school band! Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod". Crow: Yeah, you wind up wrestling for your keys with the guy, and he drops you - with one punch - and he leaves. So I made my own giant lizard film to offer as my alternative to God[bleep]. (Points straightforward while Crow imitates a missile hitting and Joel acts like he's hit) Crow: Staring contest on the left. Others are born with hundreds of eyes protuding from fleshy knobs. Oh, and I compiled today's weather service reports! [increasingly melodramatically] wandering these dark halls in search of surcease, an end to their endless night… There is hope, but it has to come from inside — from man himself. (points to the left while Servo makes missile noises) In all of you! Joel: Some eye creatures are born with scaly protective covering. After four days of shooting, finally got script today and guess what? I'm supposed to be some kind of freakin' wizard."Patrolman: Whenever there's a haphazard on the road, there's usually a sign that tells you about it. Narrator: When you've got as many birds to look after as this hatchery, you're pretty receptive to labor-saving devices. It runs the length of the building, and is used to carry feed to the different pens. Gypsy, who's holding a towel, watches Mike as he finally finishes his morning routine and goes for a human-scale sized hamster water feeding canister.]Gypsy: Affirmative! Crow: [singing It's a Long Way to Tipperary] It's a long way to tipperary... Go to hell, citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont! I'm sensing the presence of several disembodied souls… Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. (points to the right while Servo makes missile noises) In you... (Fu Manchu sits down; the crew all make raspberry noises) Servo: Oh... Morrissey: This is a song that I wrote in a time in my life when I was very, very, very sad. It's called "Hairdresser in a Coma": I cried last night, I died a million deaths. Joel: [reading fan letter, a child's crayon scribble on graph paper] Cambot, put this up on still-store, there's no print, but it's a really good drawing of me, and, Crow, and... They were also unfortunate enough to have evolved with heavy-duty zippers running up their backs. "Servo: [takes book, does Palance] "Day Five: missed call. " and then we went to Nine West but we couldn't find anything we wanted cause I have really wide feet, but sometimes I can find stuff at Payless, anyhoo, Cindy told me that Victoria's Secret was just around the corner, and she said that they're having a sale, and she knows I'm really broke right now, so I confronted her, and, well... We then cut to Mike finishing up his daily running exercise. This is just the nail in the coffin, as far as I'm concerned. It's called Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, and it's a delightful Bambi romp through a flowery fairy land of happy, harmless, fru-fru family fun for the whole family of all ages ... Crow: [singing along with the music] Gonna go to the store! I came up with this Holo-Clown Sequencer to cheer up the Bots but now I can't get it to shut off and it's getting hard to sleep at night and I'm tasting metal! It's a fetid little piece of tripe featuring sword and sorcery, Gary Lockwood and an embarrassed Basil Rathbone. Scabbing, inflexible, lethargic, mucus-expelling creatures having no spoken language and no particular powers with which to conquer. Wandered into shot yesterday and they decided to keep it." [referring to his character's recurring phrase] "What the heck does 'Avante, avante' mean? Mike [as Whitey]: So then Mabel said to me "well, why'd you wear those earrings? Oh, we learned some cats can open the refrigerator, get the milk, bring the milk into the middle of the kitchen, throw it up in the air, drop it on the floor, shatter it all over the place.[The film begins with a flyby of the Satellite of Love, orbiting over Earth. The guards come in and see the open door of the false route.]Servo: Which means I really, really hate the citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont. I never liked the citizens and officials of stupid Rutland, Vermont! [While the characters are planning to rob the local prison's evidence room, Mike and the Bots discover Buz is supposed to be a teenager despite the fact that the actor who plays him is clearly pushing 40.]Pearl [introducing the movie]: I invite you to suffer through today's movie. Crow and Servo: Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, munch, munch, munch, munch, chew, chew, chew, chew, gorge, gorge, gorge, gorge, burp, burp, burp, burp, STUFF LOTS OF FOOD IN YOUR MEAN BABY FA-A-ACE! There are studies that seem to show that." In other words, Medical News Today took researchers' findings regarding specific kinds of acute pain and extrapolated those findings to all kinds of pain - including chronic pain, for which - as Neugebauer confirms - studies have shown marijuana to be an effective treatment.
Say, come to think about it, I don't believe you bowed down before me, recently! And that [bleep]ing goes for your bull[bleep] court system, too! Servo: Ahh, your attempt to get little Susie what's-her-name drunk on lime vodka ended in humiliating rejection. ===The Love of Hercules===Now bow down to my tiny nipple-Jonah Dr. Why, the largest remains we ever discovered have never indicated a size much greater than that attained by an ordinary crow! Yes, we'd get sued for showing you clips of G[bleep]a.However, this study tells us little about marijuana's efficacy as an antidote to chronic pain.Rather, it simply informs us that the drug does not relieve acute pain, something that few if any medical marijuana advocates have claimed. You may all just bow down before me after this stink-burger! Robot and I'm here to tell you that Mike Nelson is innocent. And if you [bleep]s don't [bleep] find him innocent, then you can just [bleep]ing kiss my fat [bleep]ing [bleep]. We'd like to show you clips of one of the crappier big movies of the summer, but we'd get sued. I'm feeling particularly evil, because today's experiment is a stinky, cinematic suppository called This Island Earth! [Jonah pulls him back into his seat] Crow: Um, folks?In the article's final paragraph, Neugebauer states that "If you had a toothache, you probably wouldn't want to treat it with marijuana, because you could actually make it worse." Common Sense for Drug Policy is unaware of any claims made by medical marijuana advocates that the drug should be used to treat acute pain; rather, most such researchers and activists discuss medical marijuana in relation to chronic pain, which Neugebauer addresses in the article's last lines.